Dealing with Loss
On the 23rd August in 2024 I had to let go of my deepest, purest love ever. My Border Collie dog Tibor, was given his last dream after a lovely day, where he was still suffering from a lot of pain but seemed to do his very best to make the most of it… for just one more time.
Losing him changed me. It was not about my daily routines. After all I did gain 30 minutes in the morning before heading to work… as I didn’t need to go for walk with him. First thing coming home, would always be checking if he would have enough fresh water, same after getting up in the morning. I picked a job, where I could take him with me. All my free time, days-off and holidays would be aligned with his needs.
But losing him was not about all that. It was about finding myself and being on my own again.
I have always been a “travelling soul“. And I have always been “good on my own” too. I like my own company and being around myself. I am often alone, but never feel lonely.
Even now, after losing my dog, I haven’t felt lonely not even for a day. But I did feel lost. I needed to deal with all that spare time. The NOT sharing anymore. The not looking after someone. (Yes, definitely a “someone” and not a something, as he was THE ONE for me!) I decided that I needed time to grief. During grieving time I was not allowed to start travelling again, as it could easily become a “running away” kind of trip. I knew… there was no where to run too anyway.
Meditation – Reflexting
A couple of months after Tibor passed away a “Meditation Retreat” Event in Basel got my attention. For whatever reason, as I am not a group-person and definitely don’t like to be in crowds… I felt the urge to sign up for it. I managed to get 3 days off in a row and so in March 2026 I set off by train to Basel.
From the very first moment I was thrilled. I was “travelling” again. I was “on my way“. I was “free“!
Due to an accident I had 3 hrs delay with the train,… but I felt happy. The vibe was great, the journey was more than I expected it to be. It became the start of something new. Although I couldn’t tell yet what it was.
Arriving at the hostal I was welcomed by a bunch of Spanish ladies. It totally set me back in time. Living in Spain,… the warm-hearted people, the easy-going and no-nonsense mentality. We were all going to the same retreat. It was a hostal full of “oldies” instead of being surrounded by teens or young adults in their twenties.
The retreat was interesting. I was already familiar with some of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s meditations, but never liked his voice. Even though he explained, that it was all for a reason I found it distracted and triggered me, more than helping me. This time it was different. Although it was a “very much American” Event (if you know what I mean – I don’t need to be animated, cheered-up or giving myself a big applaus etc.) I really liked the way he explained his theories. And I must give him that, his meditions really had it in it!
During three powerful meditations I had similar visions of myself in the future. It was always in a different place, on my own, feeling immensely happy. A sensed this profound joy for life. Was euphoric when I went back on the train on my way home.
Pre-Travelling
Life went on. I enjoyed my job and during my days-off I would go ski-touring, snowshoe-hiking or hang out with friends. I still missed Tibor every day (and still do), but I managed to find my way to accept it.
I started getting my head around travelling again. Where would I want to go to? For how long would that be? What kind of journey was I fancying? There came no answer.
That was when I decided to do Joe’s meditation “Blessing of the Energy centres” on a daily base for 45 days in a row. Only because I wanted THAT FEELING back. The feeling of profound happiness. Seeing myself in all those yet unknown places. And so I did. Day by day I gained more clarity.
I started manifesting my new life.
On the 14th June 2026 I quit my job. I was excited about it, but felt sad to leave my wonderful team and bosses behind. But this was what I needed to do. Every cell in my body was craving for it. TRAVELLING!
The following months were all about getting ready. Getting ready to let go of 90% of my belongings. Giving them away, partly trying to sell them. Spending as much time as I could with my friends, my family who all made the effort to come and see me before I would start my big journey again… doing all the walks and going all the places I wanted to see one more time before leaving. And last but not least giving up my apartment… letting go of it all!
Travelling the world
On the 1st November finally the day had come. Time to travel the world again. I had given up everything, had let go of whatever could hold me back (job, rental-apartment, car…. – all easy to substitude in the end) and had gained once more respect from my friends and family (impossible to be substituded). They supported me, even though they would miss me… they gave me wings to fly.
Due to a dear friend Christl, I got to idea to start in New Zealand. I couldn’t have gone any further to start my journey from. So here I am, enjoying this young, impressive country with its Maori traditions and all the European, American, Asien and Australian influences introduced over the years. Sometimes I am really impressed by the diversity, sometimes it feels almost like being back at home in “my Alps”.
I am on my way again. Still finding my way…. there are days it all feels like “a holiday”, there are days “I am travelling”. But every day feels right. The future is uncertain, even though I have ideas and plans. My next adventure will start next year by the end of January 2026. I will be boarding a sailboat. A new chapter in my life, a new challenge. I’m curious if a mountain girl can become a sailing girl…
What I have learnt here in New Zealand…. “just roll with it”. So that is exactly what I am gonna do.
I wish you all a happy NEW YEAR and an adventurous, joyful and healthy 2026. Let’s spread some “kindness-around-the-world”!
